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The Teenage Girl Syndrome
By jason | July 2, 2008
Do you ever have these times where you feel like you’re always the one initiating with people and that goes unreciprocated? Always calling to meet up with someone but it never happens or if it does it’s begrudging? The, “let’s get together sometime” that you receive turns into, “I’m super busy…”
I don’t know if this has a name so I have come up with one, the teenage girl syndrome. You know what I’m talking about. That girl who was always chasing some boy around pursuing and pursuing even though he never reciprocated.
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Aside: Ladies, don’t pursue dudes in this way. There are 2 things I can promise you in this situation. Either he’s not into you or he’s passive. If he’s not into you then you’re spinning your wheels. If he’s passive and just won’t muster up the gumption to ask you out you don’t need that either, trust me.
Passivity is part of the male sin nature that came with the fall. It’s what Adam suffered from when he didn’t stand up for his wife as that deceptive serpent attacked her (he stood by and watched it happen).
Aside #2: (while I’m at it) Sinful aggressive behavior is also part of the fall. A domineering spirit and attitude also marks the sin nature of men. So just because he’s assertive doesn’t mean he’s noble. It may be that he’s still living out of his sin nature. If he’s mean spirited, bossy, demanding, etc - watch out as well.
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Not sure what the solution should be for you. But maybe it’s the same advice: just let it go. Forget about it. You’ve tried to set up half a dozen appointments with someone only to get rejected each time, move on. They may just not be into you. Not everyone is going to be your friend. So why continue pursuing?
A second thought is you should grab hold of and value those relationships where people are cheering you on and actually interested in your life. The teenage girl syndrome should show us how valuable it is to have people who want to spend time with us. Don’t neglect those relationships.
Thoughts?
If you liked that post, check these...
Churches on Campus 3 by jason on June 28th, 2006
National New Church Conference 3 by admin on April 24th, 2007
Journey Through The Scriptures by admin on May 29th, 2007
Busy Day in The Burg by jason on April 15th, 2008
Missional DNA by admin on May 2nd, 2007
Topics: Communication, Leadership, Spiritual Growth |
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:34 pm
I think in this post you touch on an issue that is very, let’s say, highly debated within the church today. Basically it’s the question of how the church will handle relationships, and how the church will answer questions like these:
-Do you believe in dating or courtship?
-Do you believe that we are Biblically ordered to pursue marriage? As such, are we Biblically ordered to do everything we can to find a spouse? Or do you feel that God will bring a spouse to us in God’s time, and that we should be content to wait and to make no extraordinary effort to find a spouse? Is it a sin to remain unmarried?
-Do you believe it is appropriate for (married) Christians to discuss their sex life, within reason (i.e. women with women, men with men, perhaps an accountability partner, etc.)?
-Do you believe married Christians are Biblically mandated to have children? Is it a sin for a married Christian couple to remain childless?
-For that matter, how do you feel about birth control? Is it a sin to use birth control? Does it demonstrate a lack of faith?
…and so on. In my experience these issues have become quite controversial. I’ve seen Christians nearly come to blows over these answers.
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Melinda, I understand what you’re saying but my post really wasn’t intended to be about any of those issues you mention. But you’re right ppl do take all those issues very seriously.
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:14 am
I hear what you’re saying. I have a former mentor who is either the busiest person in the world or he’s just not interested in our friendship. I’ve tried to reconnect repeatedly to no avail.
There’s another former mentor whom I hadn’t spoken with in years and who holds a position that keeps him incredibly busy. Yet when I e-mailed him, he not only answered quickly but wanted to know more about what was going on in my life and invivted me to call him anytime.
I agree whole-heartedly with your second point.
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:31 am
jason- seems like you approach both issues in your post.
why tell ladies how to pursue men if you’re not prepared to defend it?
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:55 am
Didn’t realize I was needing to defend anything…
If that’s the case then you should realize most of the list you made has nothing to do with anything I said. It’s a long logical and sequential leap to get from pursuing a guy to should a married person discuss their sex life or must they have children, etc. My ASIDE comment has nothing to do with those issues, whatsoever.
Secondly, I think Genesis 3.6 clearly portrays Adam’s passivity (many commentators point this out). Genesis 3.16 (last clause) points to the tendency men will have to lord their leadership over women.
Finally, if a woman (or guy for that matter) wants to look foolish running after a guy who has no interest in her I suppose that’s her prerogative.